oh that angel!

what i love about angel is that she is a whore. not only that, but she's an honor student by day plus teenage whore by night all rolled into one pretty package. angel is like a total role model cuz #1 she's totally independent and faking everyone out by pretending that her mom is homebound and cant come to the door right now , plus she's a whore! if you dont believe me, then listen to this girls' lockerroom gossip[243kb] we taped.

so like everything was going great for angel. gettin good grades, tricks were regular and well paying. her future was so bright she almost had to wear shades, except this movie came out pre-timbuk3 (which btw did you ever see that video they made on Head of the Class?) anyhow. then something BAD happened on hollywood blvd. all of a sudden all the whores started dying. all of angel's friends, were droppin like flies cuz there was this psychotic necrophiliac "possibly bisexual" hare krishna serial killer on the loose. i am not joking! and to top it off, SOMEBODY has started telling everyone at school that molly stewart (aka "angel") is an actual real life prostitute! are their own lives SO incredibly empty that they must gossip about others ?

so naturally, being the ultimate in independent living, angel takes to vigilante justice and arms herself with a HUGE handgun. some guys in her school kidnap her and try to gangbang her [1.2Mb], but HA! try again sucka. then of course the hare krishna gets wind of her and comes after her like one of those annoying yellowjackets to a nice outdoor lunch and totally wont leave your cup of sprite alone. and then the hare krishna kills one of the best ppl in the movie, MAE, the total old skool cage aux folles style gender illusionist/whore . this is when it becomes personal, and angel takes to the streets shooting wildly at her tormentor.

in the dramatic final sequence, angel dukes it out with the hare krishna and with the help of her streetpeople circus performer friends, she triumphs! peace is restored to the streets of hollywood, and angel can get back to doing her homework.

*attention kids*
remember, ANGEL is only a movie. and while it might be "kool" now to go out and become a teenage whore, i wouldnt recommend it unless you have NO parents, and have to pay for your expensive private school education. otherwise, your stuck with yr parents and your public school. sorry! sucks to be you!

everybody's gonna laugh at you, carrie